I was three feet from the floor,
Gasping for air,
Trying to release my father's hands from my throat.
I looked into his eyes and wondered
If my feet would ever touch the floor again.
Have you ever been hit so hard that it sends your body flying across the room?
We all fall to the floor at some point.
It's how you pick yourself up,
That's the real challenge.
I've always lived in my own world.
And i dance to escape my troubles.
I've learned that there's light even in the darkest places.
I can't blame my father for anything.
You can't rely on other people to make you happy.
But i know deep down inside,
He loved me.
There was a time
I suffered so much i wanted to get it out of me.
I would cut my arms,
Not to kill myself.
I don't want to die.
I know i am lucky to be on this earth.
I did it so the physical pain
Would calm the pain that was eating me inside.
Nothing was erased.
I leave with my past tucked away
Deep inside of me.
It comes out
As an explosion and it invades me.
I believe we are messengers on Earth.
I believe in angels.
I am blessed by God to tell myself
I suffered that much to become who i am today.
Now, you have to realize,
Not only do i have a family,
But now i have a whole hood,
And that's power.
But i ain't no grimey-ass nigga.
I was never out to kill anybody.
Especially when i made that decision to gang-bang.
I just wanted to fit in.
But one day, i was forced to do something
That made me open my eyes.
And i realized that this shit ain't no game.
One of the homies got popped
And i was pressured into doing my first drive-by.
It was kinda fucked up,
The way they tried to set me up.
Me and my bro, we was headed back
To the eight block.
Some homies rolled up
And they asked us to go somewhere.
We pulled up to the corner
Then he placed a chunky-ass gun in my ride.
He said, "You know what to do with it".
It's time to get poppin' for the hood.
But i wasn't out to kill anybody.